I didn't think I wanted a big family...

To all of you who may not know yet we recently found out that Elizabeth will be a big sister. That's right we are having baby #5 and we are so excited. I wanted to let you all know a little bit about our journey as a family and why we "decided" to have a big family. I also want to respond to all those questions people have for us. This might be a long winded post but bear with me. 

We started our marriage like most couples thinking we would have a few kids and then stop at some point, without thinking too much about it. When we got pregnant with James we were surprised but very happy. Over the next few years we researched birth control and prevention methods, most of which proved to be abortive in nature. We decided to start doing natural family planning (NFP). I was so excited that we could space our pregnancy's using my own body, the way God designed it. Needless to say we were shocked when we got pregnant with Seth. I was completely overwhelmed with the idea of having a baby so close to our first, especially since James was so colicky. Then Seth came along and he was so happy and joyful all the time, it made parenting so much fun. I then realized having kids close together was totally doable. 

We wanted some space between our next baby and so we used the NFP method and waited till Seth was a year old before deciding to try again. I decided after Naomi that I would be okay if we didn't have anymore. I felt like our family was a good size and that we would be really happy. Then the Lord blessed us with Elizabeth and I could never imagine life without her. Our family felt complete with her. I then began to question if I wanted more kids, again. 

I began to think about having more and the strain it would be and how hard it would be to homeschool and I felt overwhelmed. Thomas and I decided to wait to have another one... The Lord had other plans. After I found out I was pregnant I began to pray and read scripture and read blogs from moms with large families. I realized that I was not trusting God with my family. I was trying to take control out of fear for the future. I was putting my own selfish desires over the desires God had for my family.

At church one Saturday night we heard a sermon about not having fear for the desires God has for your life and how to determine if a desire is of the Lord or of yourself. This hit me right between the eyes. I have felt that my desire has been to raise Godly men and women that love the Lord and will become Godly men who lead and godly helpmeets, who will be crowns of virtue for their husbands. The pastor said that one way you will know if a desire is of the lord is that it is so big there is no way you could do it by yourself. Well I have to say I need the Lord if I am to raise these 5 children to be the men and women that I desire them to be, I will need the Lord daily, minute by minute. 

I realized my true desire for my family and I felt very free. It was like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Now it was time to tell our family. I admit that I was hesitant to share because after Seth was born it seemed people got less and less excited and less receptive to the news. My fourth was almost no reaction or a concerned look from people. I even had strangers give me negative comments to how many children I had. I try to ignore their negativity but I must admit it gets to me. I decided to announce #5 through a onesie we made for our youngest that said big sister. My husband actually thought of the idea. It took our family here in MT a little while to get it but once they did they were so happy, it was really nice to have such support. They even asked me why I waited to tell them and I said it was because I was afraid how they would respond. I was so happy and blessed for them to tell me that they are here to support us and they couldn't even believe the comments I have received. 

I realize that in following God's plan for my life I will be persecuted and judged but I guess scripture says that will happen, I have to remember that God is the only one that matters. In saying this I wanted to answer some questions I have received from people:

1. No, we do not have television but we do watch movies

2. Yes, we know how this happens

3. Yes, we are going to homeschool

4. No, we are not Mormon or Catholic

5. Yes, we have our hands full but they are full of joy as well

6. No, having kids does not cost as much as people think

7. Yes, my husband and I still have time to spend together

8. No, I wouldn't consider myself brave just blessed and learning a lot from what God has for my family

There is a great blog I found called "Large families on purpose" she is a great inspiration and resource for large families. http://www.largefamiliesonpurpose.com/. I don't know what the Lord has for our family or how many kids he will give us but I am excited for this journey and excited to know that with each child comes so much more love to our family and a greater understanding of God's love for us and the sacrifice it must have taken for him to give up his son for us. 

On a hike

Thomas decide last minute we needed to go see montana. We have been here a month and we haven't had a chance to get out and see the reason we fell in love with this place. We asked some friends for a recommendation and we settled on Bass Creek Trail. It was a great hike for kids, lots of rocks to climb on but not too steep of a trail. Except at some spots the trail fell off into the creek which made me nervous. The kids did really well, minus a few falls and a bee sting (Seth). Praise God for breast milk and lavender oil. Within a few hours he was all better. Here are some of the pics we took during our adventure . 

4 crazy kids in an RV!!!

So I am sitting in my RV with kids who won't go to sleep and a toilet that is clogged and smelling the whole RV, a sick husband and a shoulder that I can hardly move (injured) and I am feeling utterly overwhelmed. I find myself thinking of how many things are wrong and how I have it so hard and if we could only find a place to live it would be so much better. How often do we say these things to ourselves? We are hoping for the next thing that will make our life easier but when we get it are we truly happy. In times of stress I have to remember to trust that God has me right where I am for a reason and I need to be grateful for the blessings he has provided me.

That said I find there are a few things to keep in mind for retaining you sanity while living in an RV with 4 children. Please add items that you think I have missed...and please add them because I will probably use them.

• Find a layout that works for sleeping: a lot of parents assume that the back bedroom should be theirs. this may or may not work for you. We have turned the back into the kids bedroom, that way when they sleep we can shut the door(curtain) and we get the whole front of the RV to ourselves. Since we have 4 kids under 6 we have little ones still in cribs. In the picture you can see we have been creative. I put the two boys on the bed and have a small travel pack n play for my 9 month old and I use the bottom of a regular pack n play on the platform for my 2 year old. 

• Put things away ASAP: When you live in a house you have the luxury to do laundry and then wait a few days to put it away, well not in an RV. Putting the laundry and anything else not in use away right away will save lots of stress when you trip over things in your tight space. 
• Put things where you can get them: Another way to say this is to use your storage space efficiently. Put the diapers where you can easily get to them when you need to change a diaper. Put your shoes in a place you can put them on or off easily. It is surprising how much storage they cram into these RVs, use it. You don't need to put your extra toilet paper and paper towels in a cabinet in the kitchen, put it under a bed. We use our shower to hang dresses and jackets (this would not always work if you use your shower). Be creative!
• Have outside activities: We brought along a scooter, a balance bike and a ride on toy for the kids and they have a blast running around scraping up their knees in the parking lot. It gets their energy out and on the rainy days it does not feel so cramped in the RV. 

• Use RV safe toilet paper: laugh all you want but even when they say they are, they LIE!! Those toilets get clogged like no other. YUCK
• Don't have a strict schedule: I find that sometimes it is too hot to sleep in the middle of the day and sometimes it is kind of cold at night. Kids just don't sleep as well in an RV. Have grace and realize that there might be some adjusting to this new way of life. 
• Try to enjoy it: Like I said earlier there are days it seems like this will never end and it is way to hard but its not. The Lord has you here for a season and it might be by choice for a vacation or a necessity like trying to find a house. Just be flexible and get out for a day if needed.

GO TINY HOUSE LIVING!!! :) 

Goodbye Wyoming

We are here in our last week of school and it all seems to have flown by. I am sad to say goodbye to our awesome church family and this beautiful state (minus the wind). God has us on a new adventure that had us seemingly heading to Montana now. I am excited for this next chapter to begin. 

I really want to say thank you to all the amazing people here who helped us through this year and supported us in our adventure. Thank you to our parents who helped us with our moves and with the birth of our 4th baby while we were here. 

Here are some of the adventures to happen in the last few months I have been unable to post about: 

Camping 

Four wheeling (well 6 wheeling technically)

Water fun

I am excited for the new memories God is going to allow us to make. I am sad to say goodbye but knowing we are in the Lords will gives me great joy. 

My journey to go non-toxic, part 3: recipes

Oh my goodness sorry about the late post I am finally getting to part three. We are moving and things have been crazy around here. 

Ok so here is the best post; the recipes. I find that usually the more simple the better. It's better for time and budget. I am not going to go over all my recipes but I will give you the ones I started with that worked well for me. And please feel free to add your own in the comments. 

Cleaning products: these are easy because you can pretty much use dawn, baking soda and white vinegar on anything. If their is mold you can put some hydrogen peroxide on it. 

Toothpaste: equal parts baking soda and coconut oil, if you live in a cold climate it will get hard but just scrape it out and works just as good. Add a few drops of peppermint oil for some flavor. 

Foaming Hand soap: 1/3 cup liquid Castile soap, 1 tbs coconut oil and fill container will distilled water. (I always use distilled in my recipes to avoid contamination)

Lotion: coconut oil (yup that's it). If you want to be adventurous try 1/2 c coconut oil, a few tablespoons a beeswax and come Shea butter, melt together and mix. 

Hand sanitizer: In a 2-4 oz bottle-10 drops tea tree oil, 10 drops lemon, 1/4 witch hazel and fill with distilled water.  

Diaper cream: 1/4 c coconut oil and 5 drops lavender oil. (Safe for cloth diapers)

Face wash: 4 tbs Castile soap, 1tbs coconut oil, 1 c water (every face is different, if it is too drying try to reduce soap amount. If you are acne prone add a little witch hazel) 

The key to these recipes is finding what works for you. Play around with them and see what feels the best. My husband does not like the smell of straight coconut oil so I use grape seed oil as a moisturizer after I wash my face (which I now use a Norwex body cloth). You might find a completely different recipe that you like. Check out my etsy shop where you can find great products already made  https://www.etsy.com/shop/liliesNrose

*remember to only use pure essential oils and to try a small amount on your child and yourself before applying liberally as some people are sensitive to certain oils. 

Thank you for being patient with me and I hope to be writing more about my journey soon. Maybe my cloth diapering adventure will be next. 

My journey to go non-toxic part 2, getting your family on board

Ok great so you decided to go non toxic, but what will the family think? I have been fortunate that my husband has been pretty supportive but there are a few things he has not been too excited about. I am going to list a few ways that might help him and your kiddos get on board with it. 

1. Start off slow: I know the temptation to want to do everything at once but don't. It will be overwhelming to you and your family to do this. Pick one or two things to focus on first. I chose cleaning products, start with switching your harsh chemicals to dawn, baking soda and vinegar. (I will give recipes in a future post). Then maybe try your hand at soap and some simple lotions. Save the body products like deodorant and hair products till last. These are the ones my husband is having a hard time with. 

2. Play around with different recipes: you may not like the first one you try, and that's ok because there are a million you can try. I like a deodorant recipe that is different then the one my husband likes. Search Pinterest and different blogs for recipes, and you don't always have to use coconut oil. 

3. Talk about the cost saving: It might be hard for your other half to be ok with spending money on all these ingredients but if you break down the costs for him he will realize there will be money savings in the future. The cost breakdown will be different for everyone depending on the ingredients you decide to use and the quantity in which you buy them. You can choose to use organic ingredients too if desired. But I estimate saving about $500/ year if you choose to go complete diy. 

4. Make things taste and smell good: This one is for the kiddos mostly. I have noticed my kids really like their new toothpaste, and it tastes sweet and like vanilla. My husband also really likes the smell of lavender, so I usually load everything with lavender oil. 

5. Be willing to be humble and give a little: There will be things that your spouse may just be unwilling to change. Don't pester. Be grateful for what he has decided to change and maybe over time he will be willing to try another recipe. My husband will not use soap on his body besides Dove, no matter what recipe I try or how many things I change he just will not stay consistent with it. It's okay with me though because he has already changed so much. 

I am sure there are other ways to help your family get on board and if you have any ideas please share. These are just the few that I have found to be most helpful to me. Stay tuned for my next post with lots of the proven recipes I have  used. 

My journey to go non-toxic, part 1 The Beginning

Thank you for joining me for this series. I hope you get a lot of good information out of it and can make your own decisions regarding the toxins in your home. I cannot say I am 100% toxin free but I am working toward that goal. 

My journey started about 2 years ago when I was pregnant with my third and my second was still in diapers. I decided to dive into the world of cloth diapers, and I mean WORLD. There are a billion kinds and fabrics and designs and brands. How do you begin? I decided to have a class where I would invite all my friends who were interested in cloth diapers and then bring in a few veteran moms who had been doing cloth for awhile and share with us their experience and tips. My dear friend Justine who you can check out her blog at http://mommaarbaugh.blogspot.com brought two of her friends who were amazing and taught us all sorts of awesome things. I decided on a certain kind, then of course went through about 15 kinds before settling on what I like. 

To be honest though my goal was not to keep those chemical filled disposables away from my children it was more of a way to save money. But after doing a little research found that those huggies that I loved were not so good for my little ones. Here is a list I found of all the chemicals in one diaper: http://www.livestrong.com/article/111348-chemicals-disposable-diapers/#page=2

Soon after beginning cloth diapering Pinterest became a habit and I found coconut oil. Oh this miracle substance. I know it may be way overused but it got me thinking that maybe there were other things I could substitute. I started looking into cleaning products, because I think we can all agree that those are toxic. And started using vinegar and dawn to clean most of my house. It was so nice to know that I was not using harmful things like bleach, that can cause respitory issues, in a house with my small children. 

Oh what a journey this has been. I don't even use vinegar for too much anymore. My friend Justine also introduced me to these amazing clothes called Norwex and I don't feel like I have to say too much because they will speak for themselves. She sells Norwex too!! Here is her website if you are interested:  http://www.norwex.biz/PublicStore/stores/JustineArbaugh/AM/catalog/Customer-Specials,205.aspx

I started making my own skin care and toiletries a little less than a year ago and am still in the process of finding the perfect recipes (I will discuss these in a future post) but the recipes that I have finalized I sell on my etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/liliesNrose 

I hope you will join me for the next few parts of this series. Next I will be talking about how to get your husband and kids on board with going non-toxic. 

Enjoying my kids

How do you learn to enjoy your kids when they seem to drive you crazy? How do you balance housework, homeschooling and playtime when you are so tired? I have a revolutionary idea I have discovered...you can't!!!

I have been learning that life does not have to be perfect, in fact I think it is better to have an imperfect/messy home and have happy kids and a happy husband. I would find myself being so tired at the end of the day just from cleaning, cooking and disciplining children that my husband would get what was left, which wasn't much. I found that the best way to bring everything together was to first focus on my husband. If I was too tired to spend time with him at the end of the day then some things would have to go for that day, like the laundry or the dishes in the sink. Once my husband was happy and actually was able to spend time with the not tired me I noticed the house was a much happier place which in turn meant happier kids and ultimately happier me. 

Because I was not doing as many chores and stuff during the day I found I had more time to just sit and play with my kids. Admittedly this was difficult for me at first. I am not the type to be content playing a game of candy land that lasts forever because my kids get distracted by EVERYTHING, especially if there are dishes in the sink.  But with prayer and patience I began to enjoy these things and enjoy how my children responded when I was joyful to play with them instead of reluctantly agreeing with a sigh. 

I am far from perfect but once I began to put away my selfish desire for perfection and started to focus on my family I began to enjoy my children again. 

Why I decided to homeschool

When I tell people I am going to homeschool you would think I just told them I was going to the moon. I usually get the response "I could never do that, I don't have the patience" or "you are brave, with 4 kids wow." I must be honest I am neither patient or brave. I am actually slightly terrified I will mess my children up or they will graduate knowing less than when they started...now I know this is an exaggeration but seriously this is a big responsibility. 

So why would I start this seemingly impossible task if I am scared, impatient and have absolutely no experience with homeschooling. Well the answer is simple, their souls. It's not that I think I am better or am way smarter than teachers I just see too many kids come out of high school, from Christian homes and they are so far from Christ and so invested in this world. I do not want that for my children. 

I don't want the foundation for how my children think to be dictated by what a bunch of non-teachers, and probably non-Christians, in Washington think my children should be learning. I want their education to be lead by Christ and always pointing to Christ, even science. Because let's face it I don't know one school that teaches true creationism. There is always some worldiness thrown in there. I went to a Christian school and they still taught us that the world is millions of years old (which could be a whole other discussion). 

So to be frank I have no idea what I am doing but if I trust in the Lord and seek council from moms who have done this before me I know I will be successful and I just pray that my children will grow in a knowledge of the Lord and maybe gain an understanding of some other subjects too ;). 

Visit to California

So we have reached our halfway mark. Thomas is 6 months away from being able to graduate. We are learning what it means to live in the freezing cold, literally. The kids don't really seem to mind and it just takes a little more preparation when you want to go outside. But honestly I think I really like the snow, it is so beautiful. It feels like God is cleansing everything and it just seems so peaceful. 

     Thomas got a two week break from school for Christmas and New Years and he told me I could come visit sacramento the second week. I decided to surprise almost everyone, including my parents. It was pretty funny to see their reaction when I walked in the door. The flight their Beth did really well she slept the whole time but the flight back was a little rough because we both came down with a bad cold. But we got to see a lot of friends and family. I am so sorry if we didn't have time for some people but towards the end we were pretty sick and I didn't want to get anyone with small kids sick. 

     And of course I went to cfa about 5 times while I was there .