Okay so I am going to be very honest here. I want to be an encouragement to other moms out there but also be transparent to everyone. I do not have it all together! I am a mom of 5 kids, yes I home school, yes I clothe diaper (not all the time), yes I am a fitness nut. AND yes I am usually falling apart. The fitness thing is easy for me because I can often zone out, and be somewhat renewed.
I feel like as I write this there are a lot of people our there who think I am super mom, and I know this because people often tell me I am. I often feel this heavy weight on my shoulders to live up to this or at least seem like I have it all together when I am around others. When I am pretty overwhelmed inside. I love my kids and I would not trade them for anything but most days I think this is too much for me to handle.
I am fearful to be this transparent because I know a lot of people will judge me and tell me that I should not have had this many kids and I honestly don't have a response to you. All I know is I do have 5 kids and I do love them all with everything I have. Every day I have all these desires I strive for and all the things I want my kids to experience but the truth is that if my kids get a bath this week it is usually a good week. I know logically that God has a plan to grow me through all this but honestly in the midst of it, this is really hard.
To those moms who have a large family and are overwhelmed you are not alone. To the mom who has 1 kid and is overwhelmed you are not alone. We are all wired differently. My husband once told me that there are people who mothering just comes natural and there are those who every single day have to work really hard at it. Ladies...I am one of those women who have to work really hard. I am trying to be okay with that but it is exhausting most days. I pray that the Lord gives me strength and that this day maybe I will only yell at the kids 50 times instead of 100. I am not going to write a set of solutions on how to overcome this because I don't have any, I just wanted to write from my heart and maybe I can be an encouragement to another mom who feels like she has to have it all together or put on a mask in front of everyone. I am dropping my mask and am going to own the fact that I am working hard and learning as I go and it is HARD!
